Joeleonhart’s Weblog

To Learn and To Share

What Men Really Mean.

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“Woman driver.”
Really means…
“Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.”

“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means…
“There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means…
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling.

“My wife doesn’t understand me.”
Really means…
“She’s heard all my stories before, and is tired of them.”

“It would take too long to explain.”
Really means…
“I have no idea how it works.”

“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
Really means…
“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“It’s a really good movie.”
Really means…
“It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear.”

“That’s women’s work.”
Really means…
“It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.”

“Go ask your mother.”
Really means…
“I am incapable of making a decision.”

“I do help around the house.”
Really means…
“I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.”

“I can’t find it.”
Really means…
“It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

June 4, 2008 - Posted by | Humor

1 Comment »

  1. Need a Fun, Unique Gift and the Perfect Anesthetic for the Harsh Realities of Life? Check out Confessions of an Atypical Asian at http://www.confessionsofanatypical.com This book is meant to be a humorous perspective on stereotypes based on personal experiences, and to remind people to: Accept yourself just as you are; Acknowledge all that you are and all that you are not; Laugh! – especially at yourself; and Do not take yourself too seriously.

    Comment by CC | June 4, 2008 | Reply


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